Tin Cup Chronicles: Why George Soros Still Hasn’t Paid Me to Save Democracy

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Let’s get one thing straight: I didn’t choose this life of tireless activism, relentless truth-telling, and artisanal chaos. It chose me. Somewhere between launching Dystopeka.com (your one-stop shop for dystopian delights) and maintaining Chrometuna.com (a digital shrine to my artistic and political exploits), I realized something profound: this revolution isn’t going to fund itself. Save Democracy.

By Bob Cutler, AKA Chrometuna — Professional Rabble-Rouser, Unfunded Visionary, and Reluctant Street Prophet, because it would have just been silly to write this in 3rd person.

Change Please! Save Democracy and your starving artist

I’ve marched. I’ve written. I’ve organized. I’ve screamed into the void (and occasionally into a megaphone). I’ve created art so powerful it made a city council member weep — or maybe that was just allergies. And yet, despite all this, George Soros has not sent a single check. Not even a Starbucks gift card. I know, I’m as shocked as you are.

Where’s My Billionaire Backer?

I was promised — PROMISED — that if I protested enough, wrote enough scathing blog posts, and made enough satirical posters, a shadowy cabal of liberal billionaires would swoop in and shower me with cash. I even refreshed my inbox hourly for a while. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

So now, dear reader, I turn to you. Yes, you, with your modest bank account and your guilty conscience. You may not be a Soros, but you can still be a hero. And Save Democracy!

(True story: One time a few years back, a Gen-U-Ine Billionaire paid me $1500 bucks to get the name of his website tattooed on the back of my leg….I needed the money, I still have the tattoo.)

What Your Generosity Supports

Your donation will help fund:

Art Supplies: Because cardboard signs don’t paint themselves, and Sharpies aren’t free.
Website Hosting: Keeping Dystopeka and Chrometuna online so the truth can remain inconvenient.
Political Activism: Flyers, buttons, bail money (just kidding… mostly).
Mental Health Maintenance: Therapy isn’t cheap, and screaming into the void only goes so far.
Sustenance: Occasionally I need to eat. Or at least drink something besides expired Tang.
My semi-annual trip to Baltimore for the Holidays, and my pilgrimage to Edgar Allens Poe’s grave.
My Kitty-Kat Chewy needs a trip to the vet to figure out his sniffles.

What You Won’t Be Funding

Yacht maintenance
Private jets to Davos
Brunch with Nancy Pelosi
A second home in Aspen
My secret lizard overlord agenda

Help Me Help You Help the World And Save Democracy

If you’ve ever read one of my posts and thought, “Wow, this guy really gets it,” or “This is the kind of unhinged brilliance we need more of,” then now’s your chance to be part of the movement. Or at least part of my rent payment. If you have ever read one of my posts and thought “This guy is off his meds”, well, probably, because I can’t afford them.

Click that donate button. Empty your pockets. Shake out your couch cushions. Sell a kidney (ethically, of course). Because if we don’t fund the truth-tellers, the meme-makers, the street poets — then who will?
Support independent media and save democracy.

Certainly not George Soros.

Below are my various financial instruments by which I can receive donations. If you would rather give me cash or make some other arrangements, please contact me on facebook or via email at bobscutler@gmail.com

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